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Deep, Dark Thoughts.

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Taken on July 24, 2009. One of my favourite stretches of Bucca Road leading out towards Nana Glen.


It's been a very heavy week. I'm having a major falling out with someone who I used to love dearly. Discovering many, many hurtful lies that were fed to me.
Learning how to take one big, massive step back away from the situation is going to be a hard lesson for me to learn.
So is keeping my temper.

Flowers For Sale

After a particularly trying confrontation that (I felt) I handled pretty well I went off on my own to think and try and clear my head.
These roadside carts from the flower farmers along Bucca Road always cheer me up. I love the honour system they have in place. And often the bouquets are quite beautiful.

Bucca Road

A couple posts ago iyu mentioned how New Zealand wins for natural beauty.. but I guess that's in the eye of the beholder, because to me there is nothing more breath-taking then this landscape.
There's just something about gum trees. I love how they go straight, up high high high and make you feel so tiny besides them. I love their crooked branches, their scribbly bark, and their pleasant smell.

Lunch

I ended up on that trip in Grafton, doing a "trial run" for next weekend when I'll be taking Pa to visit their Timber Festival with me. It's a fantastic little town all on it's own though.
I'm keeping a hand-written journal (or trying to) with a lot of my more intimate thoughts and revelations.
There's been a whole lot of them this week.

I also heard the news that one of my brother's best friends from high school has committed suicide.
It's a shock, as suicide always is, and I know my brother and the Lee household are grieving for their loss.
I didn't know him as well as my brother did, but I always will remember him as a vibrant and cheerful person.

Just more stuff to think about... I'm finding I'm brooding a lot of late.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
kanawinkie
Jul. 27th, 2009 06:53 am (UTC)
Yeah, and I think everyone has their own landscapes that they're drawn to.. I know some people who -adore- desert-scapes, but I need more green in my surroundings.
This place just happens to have all of "my" landscapes.

Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
kanawinkie
Jul. 27th, 2009 06:50 am (UTC)
Thank you Bahu :)
m0053
Jul. 25th, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC)
Ugh, I can relate to the falling out bit. Your thoughts seem much more composed than mine ever are, though. Good luck, chin up.
kanawinkie
Jul. 27th, 2009 06:51 am (UTC)
Yeah, I tend to brood and brood and overthink and brood..
good luck to you too!
starbiter
Jul. 26th, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
*Hugs*

I'm here if I can be of any help. I hope it all gets better; these things usually do.

Sorry to hear of your brother's loss. That is such a horrible tragedy.
kanawinkie
Jul. 27th, 2009 06:52 am (UTC)
Thank you gorgeous, I appreciate you being around for me :)
(Deleted comment)
kanawinkie
Jul. 27th, 2009 06:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! Maybe you could have someone help you take your photos? The 10 second delay does mean I have a lot more wiggle room (ten seconds can seem like a really long time as it turns out!)

Ugh, I'm sorry if you're going through something similar.. it's proving very difficult for me to step away after having put in so much time and energy to the relationship.
I actually have a letter written out and addressed to you here with me, in it I divulge a bit of what's been going on. I will be sure to mail it out tomorrow!

It's actually Glenreigh I'm going to, not Grafton; Glenreigh is a much smaller little country town that I really only know for their beautiful old steam engine that still runs and a beautiful little boutique shop I enjoy poking around in.
But I do quite like Grafton too, I think as soon as I get my sisters old car in my possession I'll be planning a day trip up to Grafton as well.
(Deleted comment)
kanawinkie
Jul. 31st, 2009 01:06 pm (UTC)
The definition of self-portrait is an interesting one isn't it! I'm having a lot of frustrations with my little camera and just myself.. I've been thinking if I do have someone else around.. if I set up the shot, and the direction and focus, and really only have the other person there to hit the button then it's still a self-portrait, right? Something to ponder on at least...

Also, letter is in the mail! So check in your mail in a couple days!
*hugs!*
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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